"My sole purpose was to be there just for her." - Tisa, CASA Volunteer
WRITTEN BY:
TISA
In 2017, I was told by a friend to look into the CASA organization. I was elated to hear about the possible opportunity at first glance. After going through the rewarding process and being sworn in, I was matched with a wonderful young lady named Esme.
Esme, at the time, was a 10-year-old young lady. She was removed from her home due to repeated abuse. She was extremely timid on our first outing. On our first meeting she mentioned loving spaghetti, so I decided to take her to a local Italian place. Esme was extremely slow to warm and I was desperate to make her laugh or even smile. She seemed extremely guarded, so I decided to concentrate on making her comfortable. We spoke about all the new people she had to meet. I assured her that out of everyone, my sole purpose was to be there just for her. She seemed to loosen up. We spoke about music and she seemed a bit more responsive. She told me all about her favorite artist. She smiled when I knew the words to a Selena Gomez song. I had done it! A SMILE! My heart smiled.
On our next outing when she got in the car, I was playing the previously mentioned tune. As I peered into my rear-view mirror, I noticed her smiling. She sang along. As the song went off her smile began to fade. As her head began to hang and the next tune came on, she screamed out, “you know this song?” I winked at her and we screamed the lyrics in unison. As we drove to our destination, song after song we sang and danced together. Once we were parked, she asked how I remembered her favorite song. I told her “because I’m here for you.” I showed her my phone and it read EV’s playlist. She paused and once she recognized her initials, she asked “is that for me?” I told her it was, and that I couldn’t wait to add more music to it with her. I was a part of Esme’s case for about two years. Our outings always began and ended with our soundtrack.
My first youth that I was blessed to advocate for taught me that nothing was in my control. It taught me that I could not only advocate for my youths’ needs, but I could also be a consistent safe place of familiarity. After Esme's case closed, I assured Esme that I wanted to remain in her life. I spoke to her guardian who told me she wanted nothing to do with the system and needed some time away from everyone and everything. I waited a week before contacting them. I spoke briefly to Esme and we caught up on the latest music she was into; she sent me a tik-tok video she had made. I would call to catch up every week. After a few weeks I stopped being able to reach her. The last call I made the telephone number was no longer in service. My heart was broken. The only reason I was okay was by knowing she was in a good place.
Throughout our time together, there were times when I felt like my commitment would be a huge sacrifice. There were times that I thought I wouldn’t be enough for my youth. Each time my case got challenging or I began to hesitate about my commitment, our soundtrack reassured me and put me at peace. Even now.