Wendy Wiley enjoys a unique perspective as a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) having been matched with five different youth in her eight years as a volunteer advocate for youth in foster care.

As an experienced CASA, Wendy has vital insights and advice for those beginning their CASA journey. She shares, “All cases are different, I take a different approach with each child. Understanding their personality helps with how you enter the relationship; if they are quiet, I take the relationship slower and more calmly.” She adds, “It’s important to realize you can only do so much, but just being there as someone who listens and cares is enough. By showing up and being there for our youth, we are forming that bond that may not exist for them elsewhere.”

Wendy describes how her youth have ranged from extremely outgoing to shy and closed off. Wendy’s current CASA youth, *Mirabel took time to open up, she was very shy and reserved. Wendy said, “One of the most important things is remembering previous conversations to ensure she knows that I really listen and care.” Wendy has been able to really get to know Mirabel and introduce her to new experiences. The two recently went to Knotts Berry Farm and Mirabel went on her first roller coaster. Wendy notes, ”She was smiling the whole time, I think she really enjoyed herself.” The two have also enjoyed trips for fro-yo and sushi together. Wendy is hopeful Mirabel will be reunified with her family soon. 

Wendy also recognizes, as a CASA, there will come challenges. “One of these challenges can be finding a balance between what we think is good for the child and what the family thinks, but ultimately it’s the family’s decision,” she says. She relates a story from her previous case working with *Henry who she met when he was 13. Henry had been given an Individualized Educational Plan (IEP) when he was seven but when Wendy became his CASA six years later, she learned he hadn’t been to school much since that time. When he finally began attending school in-person in the fall of 2021, Wendy observed him thriving in that social environment. But his family moved around a lot and lived a nomadic lifestyle. They didn’t prioritize education and this presented a challenge to Wendy who deeply values education. Wendy said, “I was an anthropology major and learned about Cultural Relativism; just because we have our values doesn't mean we need to impose them on others.”

She shares another story of her time working with a young boy who was ten years old. His mom moved out of state with her boyfriend and left him behind. He was placed in a foster home where he immediately began calling his foster parents, “mom and dad.” According to Wendy, “His foster parents adopted him so he was quickly moved out of the system. He changed his name and is on to his new life. He doesn't want to be reminded of his past so we have not stayed in touch.”

Wendy does stay in touch with her first youth who, along with her three siblings, moved out of state to live with their father. That young woman has now had her first baby and the two remain connected via social media. 

*David was another child Wendy worked with for a couple of years. He was living in a group home because both of his parents had died. Wendy recalls one of their favorite outings was going to Knotts Berry Farm for his birthday. Wendy and David became close over the years and Wendy shared how honored she felt when David said he wanted to spend his birthday with her. His case ended after his group home was closed and he moved in with his sister. 

One of Wendy’s toughest cases involved a teen who was moved through a number of different foster and group homes where she faced many challenges. Both of her parents were out of the picture and not having parents in her life was very difficult for her. Some drug use landed her in juvenile detention for a period of time. When the COVID pandemic hit in 2020, she moved out of state. Wendy still checks in from time to time to see how she’s doing. 

Through all of these cases, Wendy has tried to practice what she learned both as a parent and in her CASA training; “As a parent, you learn you have to pick your battles. It takes time to learn you can only do so much. We need to do our best to check our own values and personal biases and meet people where they are at.”

Wendy’s Advocate Supervisor Brittany West echoes those sentiments when describing Wendy, “Wendy is a very dedicated and child-focused advocate. She constantly ensures that the youth she is matched with have their wants and needs met. Wendy develops wonderful bonds with her youth and provides endless support and encouragement to them.”

If you’re interested in learning more about becoming a CASA, please sign up for an upcoming Information Session. 

*Names changed to protect privacy