CASAs who are featured in the monthly Advocate Spotlights are typically nominated by their Supervisors for recognition. However, Bethany Arbgast’s nomination was received in a more unusual way. A private message appeared in the CASA Instagram inbox a couple of months ago. It was from a CASA youth named “*Skai” who very enthusiastically suggested that her advocate Bethany receive the monthly recognition.

Skai’s message read, “Hi, is there a way to recommend a CASA to get the CASA of the month award? My CASA Bethany is awesome and is probably one of the most selfless and the most amazing people. She 100% deserves it.”

Matthew Wadlinger, Chief Strategy Officer for CASA OC, said, “I have worked at CASA for 13 years and this is the first time that we have ever had an advocate nominated for our Advocate Spotlight by their CASA youth. I love that Skai follows CASA on social media and ADVOCATED for her CASA to have this opportunity.”

Bethany and Skai have been matched for almost four years since Skai was 14 years old. Bethany shares that Skai was very quiet when they first met. “We are both shy and I typically express myself better in writing, so I approached our first meeting by writing her a card and telling her how much I was looking forward to being a part of her life.” Bethany adds, “I wanted to let her know, ‘you don’t have to talk but I’m here for here when you need me.’” 

Since that time the two have become very close and recently experienced a special day together with two other CASA youth and their advocates at Fashion Island where they were treated to a day of pampering, shopping and dining. The special day was created by CASA and Fashion Island as a way to honor three youth who were working through adversity and moving towards reaching their goals. Coincidentally, all three youth who were selected were the same age, had recently graduated from high school, and were all attending the same community college in the fall. 

But the road to get to this point was challenging for Skai as she navigated high school. Bethany says, “I tried to motivate her to just show up and get through school. It was a challenging time to stay motivated during Covid and remote learning but she got through it.” Some days were harder than others. “On ‘off days’ when she didn’t feel like talking, we’d just get some sort of interesting food and go sit on a hill and watch a sunset or listen to music,” said Bethany.

Sometimes Bethany needed to remind Skai that her behaviors weren’t aligning with the person she said she wanted to be. “I would tell her, ‘Your decisions today define your tomorrow. You’re the one who decides what happens in your life and that is a privilege.’” Bethany adds, “I believe that eventually transformed her perspective and empowered her to take charge of her own life.”

Bethany first heard about CASA through a customer where she works. She is a manager at a local Italian restaurant where Bethany says the staff and customers all feel like family. One day a customer, who is a CASA, approached Bethany and said, “You should try it, you’d be great at it.”  Bethany says, “I went into my office at work, watched one CASA video, and immediately started balling. I was like, ‘OK - I have to do this’. I signed up immediately and went through the training.” When asked what it was like to begin as a new CASA she replied, “I was wide open to doing this work and had very little apprehension. It was supposed to happen and I just knew I was going to do it. I also have a cousin who I’ve told about CASA and she just went through training and got matched with her first youth. It’s such a great program and I wish more people knew about it.”

Since graduating from high school, Skai has gone on to get a part time job making calzones. Bethany laughs when she says, “Since we both work in Italian restaurants, we can bond over that as well – Skai now asks me questions like what kind of cheese we use on our pizzas.” In addition to her job, Skai is also attending community college part time and has a boyfriend who adds stability to her life. She recently moved into her own furnished apartment through an independent living program for youth in foster care. Through this program, Skai receives help learning how to budget, pay bills and live independently. Bethany says, “She’s doing really well - I’m so proud of her.”

Skai said she decided to nominate her CASA Bethany because she does so much for her. “She’s like my best friend and is the one person I can always go to for support.”  Skai went on to say, “I got super lucky to have Bethany as my CASA. She is the best ever, she even got me concert tickets for Arctic Monkeys who are my favorite band as they were my dad’s before he died. She is truly the best person I have ever met.” 

When asked what advice she has for new CASAs, Bethany says, “There are definitely going to be trying moments but the reason you got into this is to help a child. Regardless of the current situation, the end goal is you’re making their life better.”  She adds, “I don’t see myself ever not doing this - I want to remain a CASA for as long as I can. I tell Skai, ‘Even when I’m no longer your CASA, I will be your friend forever.’”

To learn more about becoming a CASA, sign-up to attend one of our upcoming Information Sessions or email CASA’s Volunteer Recruitment and DEIB Manager, Norma Mendoza.

*Skai is 18 years old and gave her consent to be featured in this piece